Juice Fast - Day 2

I made it through the day just fine. Around 5pm, I started getting hungry. It is now 925pm and I have just polished off a container of Quaker oatmeal!

I couldn't do it. After consulting my boyfriend and a very dear friend of mine along with my mother--I decided that this wasn't really worth it. I'm not overweight, and the headache I've had all day has been painful. I think one of my errors was not enough juice. I have been drinking about 24-32 oz. of juice and about double that of water. I felt like I wasn't educated enough as of right now to be doing the fast correctly. I do want to try it again, later on this summer and see how it goes.

Juice Fast - Day 1

I woke up around 0830, and decided it would be best to make myself go back to sleep--if possible. I was able to sleep until around 1030, and then I couldn't sleep any longer. I wasn't feeling too bad--not even hungry really. I finally drank my first juice around 1230 after a shower and doing some things around the house. It was a fruity mix of pineapple, peaches, strawberries, apples and other fruits. Delicious! I was pretty pumped, and motivated for the rest of the day. I left for Lawrence to run a few errands and was devastated when I realized that I had left my juice for lunch in the fridge at the house. It was too late to turn back, so I would have to eat food :( Well....that didn't last very long. Turns out, that I didn't have to eat food, I could get a carrot/celery/apple juice at the local juice stop before going to the apartment and getting the last of my things. Pretty great! I headed back to the house around 730, and talked to my roommate for an hour or so. She fixed herself a sandwich :-/ I was starting to feel the effects of not eating. I was grumpy. I re potted my basil plant. I wanted to eat some peanut butter. Something, anything. Then my other roommate got home and started fixing dinner. It smelled so good--I had to go to my room. I decided that I wasn't going to continue the juice fast any longer. That I was done here. But, I took my daily photo anyway:

I woke up to an email from my roommate as encouraging me to stay with it! So, I will!

Juice Fast - Day Zero

I learned the concept of a zero day in the Army, mostly during training. Zero Day is a preparation day. In this case, shopping day! I recently watched a documentary with the urging of my mother entitled: Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead. She thought that maybe if I tried a juice fast, as a detox that maybe it would help my acne. Since I just had my 25th birthday, I'm pretty much willing to try anything to make this plague go away.
So, I headed to the River City Market downtown Kansas City (the largest farmers market I have ever seen!) I spent $45 on a counter full of produce.

And I went to Bed, Bath, and Beyond with a 20% off coupon and bought an Omega 8005 juicer. I headed home to try out my new purchases. I ended up juicing peaches, apples, cherries, and a variety of other things--just to try it out. It was pretty darn good. I looked forward to my official Day 1!
I decided that since this was an experiment on how 'detoxing' affects my acne, I should take a daily photo. Here is Day Zero:

I'm also reshaping my eyebrows--don't judge me! :)

Cloud 11

Have you ever heard of anyone talking about a positive experience, and them feeling like they were on cloud 9? I have no idea what that means, but if that describes a complete feeling of happiness--then I must be on cloud 11!

Let me catch you up:

Yesterday, I turned 25 years old. I can now rent a car!

*Keep in mind that this is the last birthday where a person can look forward to something. At 15, we get a permit. At 16, we can drive! At 18 we can vote, buy cigarettes, lottery tickets and get into a casino. At 21, we can legally drink. Then we have a larger break in time to 25, where we can rent a car...and then the next thing we have to look forward to is retirement. Maybe, if we're lucky IHOP will still have their senior breakfast at 55!

So, there I was Thursday night out with friends and my mother who had drove into town to be with me for my birthday weekend--being reminded that I was soon to turn a quarter of a century. Now, that's enough to perk up anyone's mood!

Thursday night at Mac's bar and grille surrounded by friends and the madre watching the Miami Heat sneak by with a win over Oklahoma City Thunder. Bleh. I was pumped for a birthday weekend with nothing remotely military involved.

And I digress: I have not had a birthday free to make plans and do whatever I want with whomever I want since I was 20 years old.

 21: pregnant (had baby 7 days later)

22: My first drill at Kansas City Armory

23: Annual Training at Fort Riley, KS

24: Kuwait

25: Was going to be a success!

Friday morning....I'm 25!!!! Mom and I slept in until around 8 and were going around getting ready for the day's activities when there was a knock at the door. An older man was there delivering a beautiful bouquet of orchids (my FAVORITE flower!), hydrangeas, roses, lisianthus, and tulips. AND an amazingly soft teddy bear!!! I opened the note to read a very heartfelt sentimental note from my boyfriend.

So...a preeeeety good start to my birthday celebration.

My mom was in need of a haircut, so we headed over to the local Mastercuts to get that errand taken care of before we packed up to head for the city. On the way over, I got a notification on my phone that I had a voicemail. Hmm...that's funny--I didn't hear my phone ring. As I listened to the message, a huge smile spread across my face. It was happening!!!!

And again, I digress: Exactly one week and one day prior to my birthday, I was driving to my cousin's wedding and I got a phone call from a man who I had been emailing every Monday for the past 9 weeks. Stephen Terry, Director of Military and Veteran Student Services at Park University was finally contacting me! He was making me aware that the position was officially open and that it would remain available internally for 7 days and that at that time I could officially apply. I had met Mr. Terry at a job fair for Veterans a couple months prior and he had explained to me his need for a full time assistant for the program to continue to grow and be successful. We both felt that I would be a perfect fit.

7 days later (Thursday, June 14th), I was driving back to Kansas from being in Illinois for the wedding and I realized that this was the day to apply! I immediately pulled over in Hannibal, Missouri at a McDonald's and applied online right then and there!

The next morning, I get the message from him and I stop everything and call him back. He says that Park University is interested in me for the position and would I be able to come in that day for an interview....! Uh, duh! Absolutely!

My mother insisted that her hair cut wasn't as important as my opportunity for full time employment--and so we headed to finish up my portfolio and head to Kansas City--after a shower, of course.

2pm, June 15th: I walk into the Warrior Center and am showed around the building, I meet the famous Stephen Terry for the second time, in person--along with a few other enthusiastic people who work at the University. We sit down with 3 other important individuals for my interview and, of course, I rock it! I get a more detailed tour of campus and am walked back to the Warrior Center

4pm: I am told that they will get back with me about the position.

5:15pm: I get an email telling me that I am the final selection for the position, that my start date is the 25th of June and to please send three professional references for them to check out for Monday.

What a birthday present!!!! Thank you, God!

By this time, mom and I are at the Harrah's Casino hotel and are ready to head out for dinner. We consult some of my friends and decide on a South American restaurant for dinner. Delicious!

We head back to the Casino, but we take the long way--driving down Ward Parkway to show my mom the big houses, and the Plaza with the fountains and the shopping areas. It was so nice to finally be able to show her where I hang out, and a little bit of the city.

Around 9pm, we head back to the hotel for final preparations and at 10:30 we head down to the VooDoo lounge for Latin Night! And, yes....my mom was going with me! I was so excited to finally show my mother what I did for fun here in the city! I got her a nice chair to sit in, and she watched me dance the night away! I introduced her to my friends and she had a great time! Around 0100, she was ready to head to bed, so I walked her upstairs and went back down to party a little bit more! It was, after all, my birthday!

This morning we woke up, and headed out to breakfast with one of my closest friends, and soon to be roommate! We had a nice breakfast and talked about the previous day's excitement. Mom and I spent the rest of the day shopping and driving around the city. We had a nice dinner at Barley's Brewhaus, and drove home to start packing up the car with my stuff. I am moving this week to my new address in Northern Kansas City (it's a 15 minute drive to work instead of a 50 minute drive) and I couldn't be more excited! I'm sad to leave Lawrence, and most of all my battle buddy and partner in crime from overseas--but it's not like I'm moving a thousand miles away :) I feel like this is a really great time in my life, and I look forward to what is to come. There is so much more to add, but I think I covered the highlights!

Thank you to everyone who wished me a happy birthday, and thank you to anyone who has said a prayer for me along the way. I feel blessed to be surrounded by positive supportive people in my life!

Ciao!

Three Keehner Cousin's Triathlon - Part II

It was 0530 and I was waking up with those same nerves from a week ago. Well....here we go! 

My running cousin and I head down to the competition area equipped with coffee to get body marked and to pick up our chip.  On the way down, we talked about how I would pass the other waves of swimmers with different colored caps like a PacMan, and how I would make the sounds in my head as I passed them *bloop* *bloop* Nom, nom, nom! For those who have no idea what I'm talking about, the swim portion goes out in waves. This particular race had about 7 waves of swimmers who would go out, each categorized by age group, or in our case all the relays would go out at the same time. Each was defined by cap color. I was silver, the age group ahead of me was old men-dark blue, there was also purple, green, yellow, red, light blue, etc. As you passed a person, you could know which wave they were in by their cap color.

We were soon joined by our cycling cousin, and we all got body marked with our race number, #606, and I had our chip Velcro-ed onto my ankle. The swimming start had been postponed 15 minutes because of the fog on the water, so my cousins had 45 minutes to go get their things ready for the race before my start. I said goodbye to them and headed over to one of the vendor ladies who had promised me the day before that she would help me don my wetsuit. 

Putting on a wetsuit is quite an ordeal. Point your toe a certain way, balance on one foot, hold your arm out and to the side, streeeeetch....and finally, after about 15 minutes, I was ready! I headed down to the water, with none of my family in site. I put in my iPod and again, let Cosculluela pump me up for the race ahead of me. I closed my eyes and listened to the familiar beat pulse through my ears and into my body. I could do this. I was ready. I saw my mom waiting by the fence and I walked up to her, relying on our mutual knowledge of American Sign Language to communicate, since I was unwilling to open my ears to the race day madness...just yet. 

  

It was time. The group ahead of me was being called to the start line. I took out my earphones. Said goodbye to mom. Walked over to the start. I started visualizing the race, and me passing all of these people. They don't look so tough. I could totally take them. I set up my strategy. It was time for the follow through.  I dove in, and immediately took in water. Thinking to myself...is this normal. Is that bad? I had no idea even how to evaluate my start. All I knew was that it was GO TIME! :) The course was a triangle, with the start and finish at the same point. As I raced down the first leg, I realized that I needed a plan. This leg of the race would be my warm up, and I would kick it in during the second leg. (I mean, who am I kidding--when I'm racing I don't have a 'slow' speed...so I raced it anyway) As I rounded the first corner, I noticed that a lot of people were slowing down. I was continually passing caps of different colors *bloop* nom, nom, *bloop* *bloop* nom, nom again! ..and no one was passing me! I started having visions of me having the best time in the world! ;) 

Toward the middle of the race, my goggles started to hurt my face and my cap was cutting off circulation to my forehead, leaving it to feel like it was frozen. I also started feeling a familiar strain in my shoulders...but overall--I was confident. I knew that this race was over halfway over, and that I was kicking some serious tail out there. I came around the second turn fighting a huge clump of people, but once I got through, it was home stretch HERE I COME! :) I was so happy to be in a race, I was so incredibly proud of myself for doing so well, and I was almost done...one more leg of the race to go, and it was my cycling cousin's turn to carry on the torch. I sure hope he was ready! 

I swam up to the beach as close as I could. As soon as my hand brushed the bottom of the lake, I got up and RAN as fast as I could up the hill to where the cyclists were waiting to start. I had previously seen where he was going to keep his bike so I knew exactly where to run. I was running so fast, and I felt like I was going to puke, but I knew that as soon as I got there--that I was done. So I ran towards the place where he was supposed to be standing, ready with his bike. Only...there was no relative of mine standing there. I started looking around as I was running, yelling out his name, 'JAMIE!!! JAMIE!!!' The other people standing around must have understood my dilemma and started laughing and yelling out his name with me, to help me find him, "JAMIE!" Finally, I saw him standing off to the side of the cycle area leaned against a makeshift fence, kicked back eating a power bar talking to a fellow cyclist. He started toward me in his nonchalant way and when he got to me he said, "So, how did you do?" I quickly mumbled something about it being good as I scrambled to get the chip off of my ankle and reminded him to put it on his left ankle. "GO!" :) What a good transition! 

He took off, and we waited around for two more hours before the cyclists started coming in. By that time, my running cousin was jogging to get warmed up and was ready to go! I was at the top of the hill where the cyclists were coming in around a curve with her two small kiddo's and my mom who was helping to watch them. My job was to watch for our cyclist to come in, and to yell down to her so she could be ready. Well....as luck would have it, I missed him speeding down the hill at 30 mph in a group of other cyclists. I heard them announce his arrival to the transition area over the loudspeaker "Three Keehner Cousins relay finishes the cycle" Wait, where is he?!? It turns out that our runner cousin had decided to do what she could to conserve her energy by sitting in the shade under the transition tent. And since I had missed our cyclist coming in, she had no idea that he had finished. He rode up to her, and said, "So are you going to run, or what?" Another good transition! Hilarious! It wasn't until we were resting after our runner cousin had taken off, that he told me that he had gotten lost and crashed! I then noticed his bleeding elbow and knee...he was sure he could have come in at least 10 minutes sooner than he did. Which is a good goal for next year! ..?

 Our runner took off and we moved to a place close to her race path, so her kiddo's could watch her run by and cheer for mommy! About 30 minutes later, here she came! We yelled out, Go Mommy!!! and cheered. I wanted the girls to get to see her run more, but alas, watching 5 hours of a triathlon was not in the agenda of a 1 and 3 year old. So, we headed to the playground to appease the children. About an hour into her race, a man came up to my mom asking if we had a runner in the race. My mom affirmed and the man said, well she asked me to tell you that she'll be done in about 30 minutes. Really?! :) The silly girl had sent us a message! So, after about 20 minutes had passed I strapped on a 1 year old cranky baby and headed down toward the finish with the camera. Sure enough, here she came running by right on time! 

We ended up getting 10th place out of 38 relay teams, getting a time of 5:09:04 which would have put us between 100th and 110th place overall out of around 434 competitors. I think I speak for all of us when I say that it couldn't have been a better weekend. The weather was gorgeous, not too hot, not too cold. The support of our families was amazing, even across the country we knew we had members of our family cheering for us! I was filled with a sense of pride. How great is it that we are getting together and doing something productive. Showing the world what us Keehner's are made out of. 

The weekend ended with a great camp out. Our cyclist cousin's wife drove down with their boys and we all spend the night bonding and rekindling some family ties. The weekend was so positive that there was talk of doing it again next year, or even of finding another race toward the end of the summer and making it a biannual event.

Before we all went our separate ways, we took a group photo to capture the weekend and prove that we CAN get together without a wedding or a funeral!

Three Keehner Cousin's Triathlon - Part I

I had knots in my stomach. I didn't feel like eating, I was so nervous....and what's that in my back, a rock? Aggg, I guess it's time to get up. Time check: 0530. Lets do this. I walked from the tent to the latrine with Cosculluela rapping reggae-ton jams in my ears on my iPod. I. Was. Pumped. While brushing my teeth, I felt like I was overseas again--in a bathroom at o'dark thirty with a bunch of women who I didn't know all getting ready to go workout. Did I ever think I would be in Virginia doing a relay Triathlon? No way!

Background check: Two years ago, I was watching the end of my swimming career and undergraduate career end simultaneously. I had never thought past swimming in college. I mean, where else do you go from here? I can always swim and there will always be pools around with lap lanes, but its the competition that drives me. Where am I going to race? Who am I going to race?  I need to beat somebody. But how? Somewhere in the recesses of my mind I had recalled that they have team triathlons where the events are split up between three people. Then I started thinking about how my cousin ran cross country in college and still races 5k's and half marathon's all over the country. That led me to thinking about the cycle leg of the race which brought to mind our other cousin who was an avid cyclist. This could totally happen. So, I contacted the running cousin--since we've been pretty close our whole lives--to see what she thought about it. This could totally happen. Well, 2/3 of us were on board. The only problem was the eminent military deployment approaching. We decided that we would revisit this genius plan when I returned.

November 2011, My running cousin was visiting her parents in Galena, IL which was only 4 hours from where I was living after arriving home from a year overseas in Kuwait/Iraq. I drove up to visit, and we brought up the triathlon discussion once again. She had been doing her research and had the perfect event for us. The only problem was that we needed cooperation from the cycle cousin, can't do a three part relay with only two people! ...well, I guess technically you can--but it wouldn't be nearly as cool or as unique. So, we called him while I was up there and proposed the plan. He was in! This could totally happen. So, we got onto the race website and signed up right then and there. My cousin's reserved their campsites and we all got pretty excited about the whole thing. This was totally happening!

The months dragged on. I got a substitute teaching position at a local high school for 10 weeks. I worked out, went to the pool a couple of times, but mostly focused on running. The job ended. I fell into a meaningless existence. More weeks passed. I started dating the most amazing man I have ever known. I moved to Kansas. Worked on finding a job. I went to the pool a few more times. I ran a little. But I in no way practiced like I should have. And then, before I knew it, the race was in two weeks and it was time for me to buy my plane ticket. This is crazy!!! I'm not ready. I'm not in shape to be doing this. What is it going to be like? Will I need a wet suit? What does the course look like? How will I stay in the race without swimming off into the middle of the lake? Am I going to be the slowest person there? I really didn't want to let my cousin's down. But, I really had no choice--I had to do this.

The week before the race, I started feeling butterflies in my stomach. Oh boy....this was happening! I found a local Master's Swimming program and went to a practice the Saturday before the race. I started out in lane three, the middle group. They ended up kicking me out to go to the faster lane, which made me feel better. I looked around at all of these older swimmers, who also competed in triathlons and other racing events and I felt a thousand times better. Here were 'swimmers' or at least people who swam, who were practicing together. With a coach! There is hope for my swimming career. I just have to find the right group, and right now--this was exactly the group I needed. We ended up swimming 3,800 yards and I felt amazing! I wasn't even sore! My confidence level had skyrocketed! For the first time, I was actually excited about this race and couldn't wait to kick some *behind*

I flew to Virginia and stayed the night with my running cousin, getting things ready for camping, and the next day we were all packed into the van with her two small tots. We drove an hour to the campsite and met up with our cycle cousin and my mom, who had also flown out to support all of us. We had an amazing time together getting our race packets and spending time together. Our other cousin, who used to swim in college, drove up from North Carolina to watch us and we all had a great time catching up together.

The next thing I knew, it was 0530 and I was waking up with those same nerves from a week ago. Well....here we go!

Social Injustice ~A Night at Uplift

I can change the world.
I can.
Me.

And so can each and every one of you reading this. “If we could change ourselves, the tendencies in the world would also change. As a man changes his own nature, so does the attitude of the world change towards him. … We need not wait to see what others do.” As I drove home tonight, the words of Mahatma Gandhi rang over and over again in my head. BE the change you want to see in the world. Don't wait for others to do it. If you see something that deserves to be changed, and you're sitting around with your friends talking about how appalling it is that nothing has been done, do something about it yourself.

I fall short of the woman who God wants me to be. I am imperfect. But, I know that I try. I am passionate about life. I am child-like at heart, and I like it that way. As I drove home from Uplift, an organization that serves the homeless population of Kansas City, I called my mom and told her about my experience and how I felt what can only be described as a high. I felt so alive tonight. More alive than I have felt in a long time.

It all started back in 2006, while I was attending Benedictine College taking a Catholic Social Teaching class co-taught by Dr. Rick Coronado. He got up in front of the class and taught straight from Pope Leo XIII's 1891 encyclical letter Rerum Novarum, which I of course didn't understand a word of.

In the encyclical, it preaches economic Distributism and condemns Socialism.

The basic teachings include:  the importance of human dignity, that each and every person is made in the image and likeness of God and deserves to be treated with respect; complementarianism, which talks about the equal dignity of a man and a woman but emphasizes the complementary needs and mutual support between the two; solidarity, which is a strong commitment of a person to the common good of all realizing that each person is dependent on all humanity; charity, which gives us real substance to our relationship with God and with others; subsidiarity, Pope Pius XI said, "It is a fundamental principle of social philosophy, fixed and unchangeable, that one should not withdraw from individuals and commit to the community what they can accomplish by their own enterprise and/or industry."; and finally distributism, where economic distribution should be promoted by wide ownership of corporations (for example, credit unions).

Confused? I was too. Until I took the opportunity for some extra credit that changed my life. Dr. Coronado told us about Uplift, which was an organization that served the homeless of Kansas City. All we had to do was drive down with him, and volunteer our time for one night and then write a paper. Too easy. So, I attempted to aide my declining grade by taking him up on his offer. What I found within this humble organization was a personification of each of the principles of Pope Leo's letter. The compassion I witnessed that night was beyond amazing. I realized then, what I was reminded of tonight. That each and every one of us can do something to change the world. I can get in my car and drive to the inner city, get on a truck loaded down with donations from generous schools, churches and businesses, and go and meet people where they are. In serving others, I find a peace within myself. But, not just a peace. It is so much more than that. It is a feeling that starts as a warm fuzzy in my heart and permeates every inch of my body. I am filled with a joy and am inspired to do more. I want to talk to these people that society has cast aside and deemed unworthy to walk amongst the rest of us. I want to look them in the eyes and tell them that they are no different from me. That they are worthy of dignity and respect. And they are! Who's to say that because someone has fallen on economic difficulty, or has a mental incapacity that they are less worthy of love and acceptance of other people? And yet they live under bridges by the river, tucked away under the highway overpasses, and in the woods behind a Price Chopper. Hidden from our view, because we don't want to see them.

They walk out to the trucks and humbly ask for what they need: toilet paper, candles, tshirts, underwear, soap, drinking water. They call us 'sir' and 'ma'am' and it isn't uncommon to hear them utter 'God bless you' or 'have a blessed day, ma'am' from them as they walk away with their shopping bag of necessities. They, the poorest of the poor, even realize the importance of human dignity and solidarity. Do you?

I found an old post

Written October 20, 2010

Things are coming to a close. I am officially an active duty soldier as of today. I report tomorrow evening and will begin my journey to our mobilization site. As I sit here, contemplating my life, I wonder about how I got here. Nothing in my recent, or even distant past hints to this change of events that has me on my way to a deployment in a little over a month. High school was rough, as it is for every teenager--but it was still an amazing experience. I was all-academic, swim team captain, varsity letter all four years. I was in honors courses and participated in a plethora of extra curricular activities including but not limited to science club, flag squad, and choir. I graduated with National Honor Society GPA and went off to find myself at college..instead I found friends, all nighters, and a boy named Casey.
I thought my life was complete. I transfered to the University of Kansas where I was going to finish my degree as Casey finished his--we were going to get married and start a wonderful life together, until we ended up pregnant.
One surprise event and a year can change so much....
A year later, I was single, without child, and enlisting in the Army National Guard. It is amazing how life can change in one year. I was on a path, a planned, chosen path. I loved my path, I walked my path with joy and happiness--but all of a sudden in one year--my path took an unexpected turn. The environment around me on the path turned cold, there was snow and ice. I had been dressed for summer and the beach--I wasn't prepared for this unexpected change. People ask me about my life during the time when the path turned and I honestly can't speak on it very well. I don't even know what happened myself. All I know is that I was headed off to the Army. I am just now thawing from that flash winter that I experienced.
Just in time.
I have learned to embrace whatever comes my way. Live moment by moment, because I never know when something--some unexpected event is going to change my life forever. So, I live it. Every smile. Every tear. Every upset stomach and anxiety attack. Every laugh. Every embarrassment. I live it.

Questions

Who am I? What am I doing here? What is the point of life? Do I believe in God? If I do, what place does this mysterious being have in my life? Do I live for me? Do I live for someone else? Why in the HELL do things get taken away from me, just when I start to be happy?

There are too many questions in life to get caught up in. We have to be who we are. But, what if we don’t know who that person is? Well then, we just do our best with what we’ve got. Take me, for example. In college, pregnant (major cool points), with a boyfriend in the Army—but I was happy. My ‘ex’ was a heartless coward who was just trying to escape responsibilities, and my daughter is gone to me. However, without that experience—I wouldn’t have ran away and joined the Army myself. The Army. It has given me purpose. It has also taken me away from the people I love. But even in that, I have found another chapter of my life I would have never expected. I found a man, maybe not a great man, but a man nonetheless who showed me that it was okay to be cared for. Trials and tribulations and many tears led me to a man who I cannot begin to describe well enough to do him justice. He will tell me that he’s not perfect, but he is everything I’ve ever dreamed for. He is my best friend, and all of a sudden—he became the man who I love. Without all the pain and the heartache of my past that has brought me here today, sitting in my car with the windows down smelling the rain and listening to Fink on repeat, I never would have met the amazing man who calls me his girlfriend.

And then the questions set in again. But the only question I have is, who cares? If you don’t have love, what do you have? People are meant to come in and out of your life, to show you things, or to change you in some way. You will travel many different places, do different things--some you never would have imagined yourself being or doing. But that doesn’t matter, does it? All it matters is where you are now. And if you’re happy.

So sit at home, and ask your questions. Not me. I am happy to bumble through this life, just being me. Some people will be missed—but I have one characteristic that I live by. I never lie. I will always tell the truth and I will always be true to myself.