Just where is home?

December 19, 2009

I am 'home' as I usually say, at my mother's house.

In high school...I hated this place. I couldn't wait to get out. I've always thought of myself as a free spirit, much like a horse--wild and spontaneous. You never know what they're thinking, unless you have that magical moment where you and the horse are looking at each other and somehow you feel like you have a common understanding. You find peace while looking into that wild creatures eyes.

And that is how I have felt about this particular trip home. I got home on Monday night, pretty late and went to bed after moving some of my stuff inside and looking over all the changes that my mom is making to the house while I'm away. Tuesday, I woke up at 1130 and was so refreshed that it didn't even bother me that I had skipped my day 1 of running at home :-/ . I called my best friend from high school, as we had planned the weekend before to go riding on Tuesday afternoon and we met at his parents house to saddle up the horses. There are only two left, Rocket and Cody and neither one was havin' it. Somehow we tricked them into riding--and it was in one of these moments that I realized this is my home. Vincent and I have been friends for going on 9 years and in my last 2 1/2 years of high school, he was my best friend. We would do things together and talk about stuff we didn't talk to other people about. We found joy in just being. Stars, and swings, and horses, late nights laying out in the pasture or going out driving trying to see shooting stars out of the sunroof. He was always there for me and I was always there for him--through all his 'near death' experiences. So, it was. We met at his parents house, like I said, and it was as if not a day had gone by. We didn't even talk for the longest time. We just stood there brushing down the horses, working, just being--in the 10 degree weather, we MUST be crazy. Once we got them saddled up and going, we went for a short (and I mean short) ride. It was so freezing cold! Afterwards we headed into town to enjoy one of Jacksonville's greatest establishments...The Ranch! or El Rancherito if you use the correct term. Best food--ever! Then we headed back to his house to hang out a little bit before I headed home to see my mom.

Mom and I stayed in that night and I took turns with working on this daunting final paper for one of my classes and watching tv. I finally went to bed around 2300 and woke up the next day at 1230 with full intentions to head to the track! --which I did. --after visiting my mom at work. I ran 200 yards, walked 100 and then ran 100. Hey, it's better than nothing right? =] I just wasn't feelin it, and it was still SO cold! My lungs hurt and I was hungry. I headed to Jimmy Johns where I saw the same people that had worked there in high school still working there--very weird feeling by the way. And I headed home to enjoy this final paper some more before going out to Vincent's house to celebrate the end of finals!

When mom got home, we decided we should have some more of Jacksonville's finest food and we headed into town to have dinner with my uncle Jim at Leo's Pizza. We enjoyed each others company and some delicious pizza and ran into some relatives--surprise! After dinner I was on my way to the liquor store (hey, I'm 22--thank you!) to get some supplies for the evening and out to Vincent's I go!

We spent the night drinking with friends, some I knew, some I met that night, talking about old war stories from the glory days, playing cards, and messing around with weapons. The night turned a little sour when Vincent and I decided that it would be a great idea to wrestle each other. We did, and I almost won--but he flipped me over himself and I landed on my shoulder--ouch. My shoulder hurts very badly and I have bruises on my head and my ear hurts for some reason. The next morning, I headed into town to spend some more time with my mom at work....while bringing this  computer with me to work on this bloody paper. Sigh...

We spent the evening Thursday cooking my favorite meal, fettucini alfredo with garlic bread and salad. While listening to songs and the musical sounds coming from my fingers click clacking on the keyboard while finishing this damn damn paper. While I was working on it and mom was cleaning the kitchen, we had a wonderful surprise from the neighbors across the street. I hadn't seen them in about 4 years, nonetheless the Ferraro girls came over bearing gifts of homemade cookies and a Christmas card :) How sweet! So we visited for an extended amount of time and then they left with plans of us coming to visit the whole family in the next few days. Then mom and I cuddled while watching Julie & Julia--a great mother daughter movie! And now it's time for bed.

The deadline on this paper is tomorrow, but I need to get some sleep. Hopefully I will wake up at a decent hour in the morning, go for a short run, come home, shower, cook some grits and knock this paper out of the ballpark and be able to enjoy my Christmas break.

While watching the movie, I came to the conclusion that I don't mind this small town that I grew up in. I might, in fact, love it and its simplicity. I love the fact that I can take the back roads to my old best friends house and be there in about 8 minutes. I love that it takes about 10 minutes to drive to town. I love that we don't have a Best Buy and have to drive 30 miles to Springfield to get anything 'fashionable' or 'new' I love that when you're in the grocery store, you know at least 1/2 of the people there from just growing up. I love that I run into family nearly every time I turn around. I love that I can look at the house all decorated for Christmas and the first thought I have is the memories that my grandmother, mom and I have had every Christmas morning since I can remember. I love that a house becomes a home, and when it does you feel as such in that place. A wooden frame with siding, shutters, windows and doors can provide you such a sense of belonging that has been long needed.

I love home. This will always be my home. Jacksonville, Illinois. Rural Jacksonville. Out in the cornfields. I'm proud of where I came from. Are you?